Saturday, January 17, 2009
i saw the devil himself.
Off the Top of My Head: Got myself a sexy dexy dress for cny!!! saw another one which was damn nice but it was too big for me and it's free size. was cursing the shop the rest of the night. Shall go hunting for more dresses this friday night :)
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WARNING: This blog post contains language deemed unsuitable for the general public. Reader's discretion is advised.
A few nights ago i met a monster.
Was getting ready for bed as it was 12 smt and i had school the next day.
So there i was, arranging my table and setting my stuff aside when i suddenly turned around.
AND THERE IT WAS.
On my wall facing my bed.
Crawling down TOWARDS MY BLANKET.
A BLOODY COCKROACH SOOOO DAMN BIG IT MAKES NICK'S ASS LOOK SMALL.
My mind was screaming "FUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKINGGGGG HELLLLLLLLLLLL!!!!!!!!!!!!!" (knowing how much i absolutely bloody HATE insects okay.) but all that came out was a squeak. and my eyeballs were popping out of its sockets already just looking at the size of it.
I swear i have NEVER in my entire life seen a cockroach THAT big. EVER. It's like the size of a damn rat.
I sprinted upstairs to josh's room faster than powell himself and almost banged down his door cos he was taking SOO long to open it.
Cos he was on the phone.
But i yelled at him anyway to get his butt downstairs and kill the DAMN COCKROACH NOOOOW.
And when he saw it, he almost died.
Josh: HOLYY FUCKKK! WHAT KIND OF COCKROACH IS THIS?? ITS LIKE SOO FUCKING BIG!
Me: SHUT UP AND JUST KILL IT OKAY!!!!!
Josh: OKAY. GET ME A BOOK TO HIT IT!
Me: I'M NOT PASSING YOU MY BOOK TO SMACK IT!
So i went to the back and passed him mdm chong's pink broom.
Me: JOSH, PROMISE ME YOU'LL KILL IT OKAY. PLEASE. JUST PROMISE ME.
Josh: YES, I PROMISE.
Me: I think i'll call kakak just in case.
So i ran off to the other side of the house to call kakak but man, she was out like a light bulb. Then i ran upstairs to call the other 2 guys but they were asleep as well.
Dejected, i went back down to my room.
And i heard the *smash smash smash* of the broom.
Me: DID YOU KILL IT??? (from outside my room. NO WAY i'm going into my room with that monster in there. The cockroach, i mean.)
Josh: YES, I'M SMASHING IT!!!!! AND I BROKE MDM CHONG'S BROOM!!!
Me: BUT ITS DEAD RIGHT???
Josh: Yes....OH FUCK. ITS STILL MOVING!!!!
Me: JUST KILLLLLLLLLLLL IT!!!!!!
Josh: I AM SMASHING IT BUT IT WON'T FUCKING DIE!!!!
Me: JOSH I SWEAR I WILL SAY FUCK 500x IF IT WILL KILL THE COCKROACH.
Josh: DIE DIE DIE!!!!!!! FUCKKKKK. FINALLY. ITS DEAD!!! FUCKILY!!!!
(thinking back, that was damn funny. when he said fuckily. but i was ready to die at that time, laughing was the last thing on my mind.)
Me: Are you sure?
Josh: Yes, i decapitated it.
Me: Okay now sweep it up.
He smashed it soo bad its legs and parts were all over my floor.
I spent half an hour mopping my entire room.
And then we were trying to decide what to do with the broken broom.
But i was so physically tired and mentally scarred for life i didn't really care.
So i hung it back and went to sleep.
Was surprised i even managed to sleep that night. After all the yelling and the fucking and the curse words flying all over the place.
Obviously was damn paranoid that that's the mother godzilla and the father is going to come looking for it. Or even worse if it's the baby.
Damn i don't think i will ever recover from this.
My fear of insects may sound irrational to you but i'm really not kidding when i tell you i'm petrified of insects.
Ask anyone who knows me.
Especially joanny.
Who had to drive all the way to my house to kill a cockroach 2 years ago.
5:07 PM
